this JUST IN! Lizzo in the FLESH agrees to be newest SpaceX rocket ship to mars!
This evening Elon dialed Lizzo to get her opinion on being the LizzoLander-15, results were positive, Captain! *holds back vomit.* Now we hope to see lizzo showing up for her blastoff the evening of december 2nd, If not we have hired cardi b ALSO in the flesh to be the CardiLander-68, but from all of us at 99news we are just honestly praying we dont need to use the CardiLander68.
we wish lizzo a VERY safe adventure and that she will spread all her body positivity to the aliens aswell - Possibly advertise for her upcoming skincare brand Lesh-Oacne.
Article Written By 99News Enterprises